Tuesday, June 14, 2011

It's getting a little church-y in here...


This week is VBS at my church, and I was somehow manipulated encouraged to be a class leader for a four year old class. Truthfully, I was a nervous wreck yesterday morning, and didn't really know what to expect. Which, if you know me at all, I cannot stand. I like to be prepared, I like to know my shiz. MY KIDS are easy... Because I'm used to them! 25 rambunctious stranger kids, on the other hand, are a completely different story. Add in no adult help, and it was a little hairy for a while. (I did have 4 AWESOME teens helping, but still... I was the scared shizless fearless leader & it was on my shoulders.) Chaotic would be a good description of yesterday. The first day is always a little crazy, so we ended up with lots of time that we didn't have an activity scheduled. During that time, a tornado swept through the classroom and left every toy in the floor, scattered beyond words. Needless to say, I was stressed & exhausted by 1230 when those precious little darlings went home! My confidence was a little bruised, but come on. They're four. I can do this, right?!

After a less than stellar evening (on the personal front), I woke up in a bit of a hurry today. Picked up the kiddos I was taking to VBS with me, and headed that way. In the car I was brainstorming on how to make today better after yesterday's mass destruction. Once I arrived in my classroom, I faced 2 toy shelves to the wall. We have activities planned out all morning long, so the less temptation in the downtime, the better. I also grabbed a book to read in a few minutes of spare time & got coloring pages out for arrival time. Got the teens up to speed on my new plan of attack & arrival time went swimmingly! AND!!! We got an adult helper!! Who is a TEACHER!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! (Seriously. After yesterday, I was praying SO hard because I did not think I could make it through another day like that!) Anyhow, with the preplanning a little and setting a few more ground rules, today was really a great, great day. The kids are all so precious and fun... Can't say I'm not still a little nervous about how tomorrow will go, but I know... I've got this. ;)

Working with our Children's Ministry has been SUCH a blessing for me. With everything going on in my personal life, it's been hard to make friends. My self esteem isn't too great these days and feeling well, worthless.. That kinda makes it hard to put yourself out there. The gal who talked me into doing VBS is AWESOME though, and after Sunday afternoon of setting up, she invited me to join her small group! A group that's full of Mamas who work with Children's Ministry, who are all (that I have met so far) super welcoming, humble, Godly ladies... They even have a babysitter come so we can bring our kids! God has really answered a silent prayer of mine, and of course, it could not be a more perfect time. Some of my personal relationships have gotten difficult because I have become involved in church... I've gotten the "So what, are you going to become some crazy God this, God that, person now?" on multiple occasions. Honestly? I believe He has led me to all these opportunities to meet these women and to help build myself a support system. The way I see things has really been changing, and I am scared... But also strangely happy. My church has become a second home to me, and I never thought I would ever be able to say that about a church, but I am so thankful that I can.

Sorry for the lengthy post. I have had a lot of time to reflect this afternoon, and have really been able to see Him working so much these past few days... Wanted to get it written down so I can remember.

One last thing. Yesterday on the radio I heard this quote: "Instead of telling God how big your mountains are, try telling your mountains how big your God is." So, so true. Doesn't matter how big it is, our mountains are no match for God's plan for us!

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