Sunday, March 11, 2012

It's Ok...

I have come to honestly believe that we can convince ourselves of anything. If someone says something that irritates you, you can let that put you in a rotten mood. You can be having the worst day
ever, but if you *make* yourself smile through it, you'll probably come out being happy. Along with that, if you want something bad enough, you can convince yourself that things are happening when they are not. Same goes for the opposite. Denial, my friends, is some real shiz.

I absolutely am in love with my life right now. The girls are doing great, I love my job, my friends are the I have realized something, though. When I was spending so much time convincing myself to be happy, to not let others affect my days, I also convinced myself of one big ol' huge honkin' lie. That I need to be out there dating to find "the One". But guess what?! I don't want to date anyone. I don't want to know what someone thinks about my plans. I don't want to explain why I spent money on whatever. I don't want to ask anyone what they want for dinner. I don't want to do boy laundry. I don't want to listen to stories about crap I don't care about. I don't want to wonder if he's really where he is. I don't want to wonder what he's thinking.

Here's to not wasting time trying to convince myself what I "want", and instead actually focusing on the things that I do want. I want to make memories with my girls. I want to go out and have fun with my friends. I want to get ready to go back to school (this fall is coming QUICKLY!). I want to pay off the last bit of my debt. Mostly I just want to live my life for me, and not worry about fitting anyone else into it. If someone comes along, well they'll either squeeze in and keep up, or it wasn't meant to be anyway.

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